Seven years ago, 8 weeks before my wedding, I discovered that I was pregnant with my first baby. It was unplanned and at that point in life, I had yet to decide if I truly wanted children. It was a shock. My partner and everyone around me, including my 92-year-old Irish Catholic grandma, were simply thrilled. As the pregnancy progressed I just couldn't shake that feeling of dread and disappointment that I was pregnant.  I didn't want my body changing!  I didn't want my life to change!  I didn't feel prepared for any of it. I felt so lost and alone in these scary feelings that seemed so shameful. I had never heard of anyone experiencing this intense anxiety and depression while pregnant. My doctor never mentioned it when I disclosed my own long history of mental health struggles.

So in my second trimester, I started googling and discovered that antepartum depression was a thing. I talked to my childbirth educator who lead me to another mother who was working on her master's degree, specializing in perinatal mood disorders. Those initial contacts have lead me down a long and powerful path of advocacy and healing. I've been a proud member of our local Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorders task force in WNY and been able to participate as a Community Outreach Chair, attending local events and sharing information about the Postpartum Resource Center of NY. I'm so proud to walk with our team for the second year and so grateful for our community of professionals and families all working towards creating a safety net for moms.    

Postpartum Support International's Climb Out of the Darkness is the world's largest event for raising awareness of perinatal mood and anxiety disorders, while raising money and building community.

You are not alone. You are not to blame. With help, you will be well.
If you or someone you know is suffering, PSI can help: Call 1.800.994.4773 or Text 503.894.9453